Baby Size: As long as a stalk of swiss chard (19")
Symptoms: Braxton Hicks Contractions
Cravings: Water and veggies
We are now down to the wire. It is crazy to think that we are 21 days away from the due date and the baby really could come at any time now. I had a Dr. appointment this week and it was a little disappointing. I was really excited for this appointment because I was going to have my cervix checked and I was really looking forward to finding out if there was any progress. I was in the exam room waiting for the Dr. for about 15 minutes. During this time my mind started to wander and I started to feel an anxiety attack coming on. I tried to get control before the Dr. came in but it wasn't looking good. She came in and said that my stats look good and that we were going to do a bacteria swab and then check my cervix. I now wasn't feeling well from the anxiety and reluctantly laid back for the exam. She did the swab and it hurt but was fine. She must have seen me flinch because she then said, "if you thought that hurt you're gonna be surprised". At that point I got mad and uncomfortable and the anxiety took over. I said to her that I needed a minute and she proceeded to stand there waiting. I knew that I couldn't relax at this point and asked if we could postpone the exam. The Dr. was fine postponing because I haven't had any contractions. However, at this point the anxiety was so bad that I almost fainted on the table. I was sweating, nauseous, and dizzy. On her way out the door to get the nurse the Dr. said, "I think it's pretty clear that you need to consider an epidural". Now I was not only about to faint, I was so upset. I have been working so hard to keep negativity out of my mind and she shoved it right in there. I really felt betrayed. Like I have said before, I am not opposed to an epidural but to be told I "can't" do it was devastating to me. In that moment I felt like this Dr. is not on my side. I have been relaxed and calm almost my entire pregnancy. I had this moment of doubt and insecurity and I had no one in there to back me up. I think a lot of women have experiences with doctors that are frustrating. At this point in my pregnancy I'm not sure what to do. I have requested a midwife at the hospital, so hopefully that will be what I need. I guess poor Brian will have to be extra supportive :)
On a happier note, I started having some contractions last night. I'm assuming they are Braxton Hicks because they stopped after about 2 hours but they were definitely contractions. I abruptly woke up at 4am to some cramping type feeling and my stomach tightening. It would last about a minute and was coming sporadically. I couldn't really time them so I knew they were probably false labor. I was excited though because my body is getting ready. I did start to have a bit of anxiety because the false labor made me realize all the stuff I still need to do! I spent the two hours of false labor practicing relaxation and meditation. I also downloaded a soundscape CD for the hospital room.
I also packed my hospital bag this week. I think I will do a separate post to show everything that I have in the bag but it is nice to have it out of the way. The bag includes stuff for me, Brian, and Baby Yoast. I feel much more at ease now that we can just grab it and go whenever the time comes. One less thing to worry about. We also registered at the hospital, filled out the birth certificate (mostly), turned in disability paperwork and bought our changing pad for the dresser. Now we just need to figure out a name. Yikes! Suggestions?? I feel that I am really close to being ready (well not mentally) and can't believe how fast the time went. The best part about this is that we get to meet our little Baby Yoast in less than a month!!!!